January 14, 2021 2 min read

New Year, New You! Isn’t that what they say? Something about the turn of the calendar page to another January barks that we must improve: Improve our bodies by losing some weight or committing to exercise; improve our spiritual lives through more Scripture reading or church attendance; improve our organizational skills by decluttering and collecting less. The list goes on and on…


Because I’m in the business of marriage, of course, might I suggest that this year you commit to improving your marriage? It’s often the thing that gets put at the bottom of the list as most people are so busy with work, kids, schedules and the day to day tasks required to, well...LIVE!


One of the reasons many New Year’s resolutions fail is that people start BIG! You may go full speed ahead into that diet or fitness routine, only to find out by January 5th that you feel like you’re starving and sick of kale and that your muscles are screaming, “For the love of everything human! Stop going to the gym!” So, what I’m thinking is: Start small. Keep it manageable.


Why not find one or two easy-to-remember-and-do things that will make your spouse feel special and loved, which will improve your marriage. And for those of you (like me) who are remembering challenged, set a reminder in your phone. (You know that shining little gadget in your hand that gets an inordinate amount of your attention every day?)


Things like:

  • Say good morning and good night to each other. (I told you it would be simple!)
  • Ask your spouse how his/her day was.
  • Make the morning coffee or take out the trash if it’s not what you normally do.
  • Pick up the dirty laundry off the floor.
  • Put the cap back on the toothpaste or clean the hair out of the sink and drain when you’re done.
  • Letting your spouse know where you are going and when you’ll be back.


See? I told you! S-I-M-P-L-E!! It’s the little things in marriage that make all the difference…it’s also the little things that can wear away at the fabric of the relationship. If you are really struggling for ideas, check out our book 125 Unexpected Acts of Kindness You Can Do for Your Wife. Fear not! Ladies, it’s filled with ideas that work for your husband, too!



If you want to move to a little more advanced level:

  • Plan a once a month date night. If you’re really brave and want to throw caution to the wind, do it twice a month or once a week!
  • Take your spouse to a Laugh Your Way Couples’ Comedy Event near you or watch the DVD. 
  • Join a marriage group at your church.
  • Get together with other married friends and talk out your “stuff”…we all have it! Find some couples to do life with and share your frustrations.
  • If necessary, commit to counseling if your marriage is really struggling.



Resolve this year to improve your marriage! When you attend to your relationship, good things happen. Whatever you do, large or small, will make a difference.