Teammaters vs. Opponents

Posted: Mar 16 2018

Many of the games or sports played in life are team based: Football, basketball, baseball, soccer, volleyball, cricket, polo and lacrosse just to name a few. It’s of the utmost priority that players work together as a team in order to win the game and beat the opponent. If members of the same team view each other as adversaries and work against one another, it will create havoc and most likely end in defeat. (I bet you can already see where I’m going with this!)

In the “game” called marriage, it’s even more important that you work together as teammates and not view each other as competitors. Far too often we enter the playing field thinking our mate is on the opposite side; that we need to achieve victory over him or her in order to secure the win. This sort of thinking only leads to a big fat L in the Win/Loss column of married life.

Disagreements between couples can become a form of dodge ball. Remember junior high Phys. Ed class? A half dozen or more of the primary colored rubber missiles coming in hard from all different directions. A player’s only goal: To knock the rivals out of the game. The winner: Last man standing.

In marital skirmishes, words get flung like projectiles landing with a force that leaves a mark. The battle of wills to be the “winner” leaves both participants breathless and combat weary. But marriage isn’t an every-man-for-himself (or every-woman-for-herself) endeavor. It’s best played out when participants work as a team.

Realizing that both of you have strengths, capitalizing on what each one does best, finding strategies that work well for your team, and remembering to cheer your teammate on will most definitely create a more successful marriage. It’s especially important to rely on the principles of teamwork when you’re facing the most formidable of foes during the roughest of contests that life has to offer.  Often times mates will forget the real opponent and turn on each other during times of high stress.

In a winning marriage, actions and decisions are based on what’s best for us, best for the relationship, best for the family. It’s about the collective. It’s about we…not me.  As the saying goes: There is no I in TEAM.

 

You’ll find a whole chapter on how a guy can treat his wife like a teammate new in my new book Treat Her Like a Truck. (hotlink this https://markgungor.com/collections/books/products/treat-her-like-a-truck)